Question: The 5th commandment is for us to honor our fathers and mothers. Suppose your father and mother are bad people who rob, kill, do drugs and criminal activity?
Answer: It is not by accident that this commandment is the first of six commandments that deal with our relationships with mankind. The first four deal with our relationship with God and the last six with people. But, the position of this commandment, number five, and the topic of it, authority, is the anchor of our society, and it is the foundation of establishing respect for all authority, even the authority and honor of our Heavenly Father. The commandment states, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12).
Honoring our parents or any authority does not depend upon their character qualities or any other qualification. We are commanded to honor them whether they deserve it or not. God’s love for you and me does not depend on our performance. Likewise, the commandment for us to honor our father and mother should not depend upon their performance. Interestingly, this commandment has a beautiful promise attached to it. “That your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” However, the Apostle Paul in Ephesians 6, after he quotes this verse and the promise that goes with it does say a word of warning to the fathers, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). But, even if the fathers don’t follow their admonition, we still are under the command to honor our parents.
There are three God ordained institutions in which we are to be in subjection to the appropriate authorities. The family, the church and the state. The family has the father and mother as the authority, the church has the ruling elders, or overseers, as the authorities, and the state has the civil servants with whom we are to honor and obey. The civil servants are called “servants or ministers” of God three times in Romans 13. Then in, 1 Peter we read, “Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by Him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, living as servants of God. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor” (1 Peter2:13-17). The interesting thing about this command to be in subjection to and to honor the emperor is that Nero was the Roman emperor at that time and he would have made Hitler look like a moderate leader.
The point is that God gives us our parents, He gives up our church leaders and He gives us our government leaders and we are to be obedient to them and honor them unless they require us to violate God’s law. If they require us to do something that God forbids or not to do something that God commands, then we are to resist and be willing to suffer the consequences.
With our parents, they may have poor character qualities and they may be bad examples of humanity, but we are to honor them even if we don’t like them. However, we must humbly and respectfully resist them if they command us to violate God’s laws.